Try Everything


As parents we are more likely to think we are doing everything wrong than anything right.  That goes double for a family facing autism.  For every one intervention you try can find a book by someone who is doing ten times as much with fabulous results (skip Jenny McCarthy’s book; read Karyn Seroussi’s).  Any success is a miracle; any failure is our fault.  The good days evaporate like rain in summer, the bad ones linger on like an endless, frozen winter.  There are a million metaphors and just as many therapies.

But really, the idea behind all parenting challenges is to look at the child in front of you and identify two or three things that make you both miserable and try to work on them, one at a time.  Only do what someone else does if it makes sense for your family.  If you are trying a diet, remove one food at a time, and consult a doctor before you start (and if they tell you not to try it, ask why).  If you don’t see results in 2-4 weeks, stop.

And have the courage of your convictions.  Kids can smell doubt a mile away, and if they think there is one smidgen of a chance that you will cave on anything, they will wait you out.  Next time I will tell you about one of my Tiger Mother moments.  It was totally worth it.

The Essentials

My theory is that most crimes of passion are committed by people suffering from sleep deprivation.  Having just awakened from a nap after two weeks of Christmas vacation with my family, I am sticking to this theory, and it explains why my mother remembers nothing of our early childhood years, why I regret most of what I recall of my own children’s early childhood years, and why old people delight in napping the day away.  All I can say is, I’m sorry and always remember to let sleeping parents lie.  Lay.  Lie.  Whatever.